#ThatSingleLife


Just looked at my Facebook feed. Another friend engaged. Two more friends having babies. Gina just bought a new house and Joshua is celebrating his two year anniversary with Heather. I should probably mention that none of these people live in New York City. Most of my friends from my home town are all "wifed up" and settled in. Meanwhile, the only engagement I have is with my morning coffee, my two babies are covered in fur, the thought of owning and taking care of a house gives me a headache, and the last anniversary I celebrated was with myself ("Happy one week anniversary of being sober!"... one week is usually as far as I can get).

If you live in NYC, you know that finding a relationship isn't quite as simple as it is in the suburbs. Ninety percent of my city friends are single AF, but a solid fifty percent of those friends are chomping at the bits to be in a relationship. Finding this mysterious "love" in the Big Apple is no simple task. Everyone has a completely different, insanely busy schedule. Most people are flaky and, with so many options (I read somewhere that 1 in 38 people in the United States live in NYC), it's easy to get bored in one relationship and all too ready to move on to the next. Despite the headache of chasing romantic vibes, I still have Lacy crying on my shoulder because she wants to get married "soooo badly" and Joshua asking me why his Tinder profile isn't tempting more chicks to swipe right. I'll never understand it. This is the city that never sleeps! The city of opportunity! Why not embrace the single life?

So this article is for all the Joshuas and Lacys. Here are my top five reasons why being single in the city is boss.

1) No jealousy = No stress

There is SO much to see and experience in the city. Bars are open until four in the morning! Being in a relationship means checking in with your significant other on a quasi regular basis. Going out with your friends? Remember to check in by ten, to let your SO know you're still safe. Maybe you told your SO you'd be home by midnight, but now you're having so much fun that you've decided you want to stay out a bit longer. Check in to let them know you'll be home late and down another drink to help yourself temporarily stop thinking about the massive guilt trip you'll receive in the morning. So now you've decided to stay out a bit later, but after a couple more rounds of whiskey, "a bit later" has turned into an all nighter. Which would be fine if you had remembered to check in again, but alcohol has a tendency to make you forget things. So now you're coming home at five in the morning and your SO is pacing the floor and giving you the shake down, asking for all the little details about where you've been and who you've been with. It's possible they've even asked to look through your phone.

... none of this would have been a problem if you were single.

2) Be shameless

We all have needs. People living in the city understand that. It's a bit harder to be single in the suburbs when you're feeling sexually frustrated and are worried about being judged for your nightly activities. No need to worry about that in New York. No one here is going to "slut shame" you or call you a "playboy," just for doing what comes naturally. So long as you're safe and open about having multiple partners, you'll never have to worry about hurting someone's feelings or having to deal with someone close mindedly wagging a finger in your direction.

3) Valentine's Day is better when you're single.

Yup. You read that correctly. Restaurants in NYC are DISASTERS on Valentine's Day. All the best spots are completely booked and way over priced. Just one reason why many bars and lounges take advantage of the day to promote "Single Awareness." Want to smash the sh*t out of a heart shaped piñata? There's a bar for that. Or maybe you want to go on a "Single's Only" booze cruise? Also a possibility, and I guarantee you'll spend less money than you would dining out, and have way more fun too. Basically, there's no reason to be that bitter person who blows up social media with sad memes and hates on a holiday of love. So you haven't found "love" yet. So what? Love YOURSELF.

4) Climb the ladder to success

If you're living in the city, it's probably because you have a career goal in mind. You're ambitious and driven and realize there's no better place to network than in New York. Want to know what makes networking difficult? Being in a relationship. It's a sad truth that the more time and energy you put into being in a relationship, the less time and energy you're putting into climbing that ladder to success. Think about it: every minute you're focusing on someone other than yourself is a minute lost that could have otherwise been spent on brainstorming ideas for your start-up business or acting career or whatever you moved to the city for. Selfish? Absolutely. But also completely okay. Great accomplishments come with great sacrifice (that is, if you consider 86ing relationships a sacrifice).

5) More money in your pocket.

Can I just state the obvious? Being in a relationship can get expensive! Do I even need to write more on this particular subject? Gift giving, dates, trips to visit your SO's family (if they don't live in the area). And, if you don't live with your SO, you're not even reaping the benefits of splitting rent. Case closed.

I get it - it's nice to have someone to depend on. Someone to fall asleep next to and wake up next to. Someone to share your hopes and dreams with and talk with about the future. But, as for right now, I'm content to share those hopes and dreams with my friends and family. Besides, my cats take up way less space in my bed. Maybe I'm being biased but, in my opinion, NYC is the best place in the world to enjoy living #thatsinglelife.

Love, as always, your,

It Girl Friday


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